Butterfly Brained
by fangs211
Summary: Rika's homework is raising a caterpillar to butterfly but someone with a scattered brain murdered her homework. Warning: Is really random. And boring. And more randomness. Side effects contain boredness, randomness, and a waste of time. If you should experience any of that, consult your lawyer immediately to sue me. Please don't sue me.


Disclaimer: I am regretful to announce…I don't own digimon. (tear of sadness)

…

This is just something random, really random…I'm supposed to be doing my summer assignments. I mean seriously, who gives homework during the summer? But yeah, I'm stuck with a whole motherload of stuff. I have to read two thick books and write notes about them, do more notes on 4 chapters in a history textbook, have 200 vocabulary words to remember, a whole list of math stuff to remember, and a few pages of science to remember as well. The school year's going to be a big tough one if I have to do all that in my summer.

Plus, two days ago, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. That's right, they just jacked my teeth. The tooth fairy didn't even give me a penny for all that. It hurts A LOT. Next time the doctor or dentist says 'This won't hurt a bit!' even though they've numbed your jaws up, don't trust them. Hopefully, I still have enough wisdom left to make this story make sense.

I know I said this is humor, but I'm not feeling that happy right now. I can't smile without hurting so I'm not writing some super funny stories and laugh my guts off. So this is mildly humorous, nothing like my other stories…

…

"Hey! Give me that!"

"No way! I wanna see it."

"Give it back, you stink head!"

"Stink head! Who ya calling stink head, Miss. I-Don't-Shower-Unless-Mom-Gives-Me-10 Bucks?" (Yes, still with the not showering thing from one of my other Ryukis…)

"Shut up!"

"Hey! You almost made me drop him!"

"Who said it was a him?"

"I said because the male gender is awesome and this dude here is awesome therefore he is a he."

There was the sound of thumping feet as someone charged.

"Woah!"

The sound of breaking glass echoed all around. Then there was a silence that lasted half a second.

"You've killed him." Accusing.

"Did not! You're the one who dropped it."

"But you're the one who made me drop it!"

"Lies! I didn't even touch you."

"I know. It's just that seeing the Rika Nonaka running straight at me… whew, that's enough to make any man freeze and drop whatever he's holding."

"'Man'? You're not a man. You're a big wuss who murdered an innocent soul."

There was no answer…then "I didn't kill him. You see? A leg's still twitching."

"A piece of glass sliced him right through his middle. You think anyone's going to survive being cut up in half?"

"Well…no…"

Rika groaned and took out a dust pan. She began sweeping up the glass. Ryo sat down on her bed.

"Get off my bed, you murderer!" Rika snapped.

"I didn't kill anything! It was an accident!" Ryo held up his hands in defense when Rika eyed the shards of glass in her dustpan.

"There are no accidents," Rika muttered. "Except for you."

"That's not nice," Ryo disapproved, pulling on his saddest expression.

"Not nice is murdering a caterpillar," Rika shot back. "This was my biology finals. Raise a caterpillar into a butterfly and this green smear on my floor never even saw it to cocoon hood."

"Ah…you're mad because you're scared you're not going to get a good grade?"

"I'm not mad…"

"Great!"

"I'M FURIOUS!" Rika yelled. "FURIOUS ENOUGH TO CUT YOU IN HALF WITH ONE OF THESE SHARDS OF GLASS!"

"…Gee," Ryo finally said. "Hey, I know! Let's go to the park. Guilmon said that he saw a lot of caterpillars sitting around. Maybe you can find a caterpillar to raise."

"You think I haven't thought of that?" Rika snapped as she dumped the pieces of the jar into the trash can. "You go bury this caterpillar while I get another jar."

"How come I have to be the one burying a little bug," Ryo protested.

"Because you were the one who murdered him!" Rika stomped out of her room and over to the kitchen area of the house. She looked everywhere for another jar but only found a jar of pickles in the fridge. It was half filled with the juice and had three pickles. Leftover from one of her mom's many 'friends' who came over for dinner. Since no one in her family really liked pickles…Rika uncapped it and snuck out of the kitchen, creeping along the walls.

Target confirmed. Ryo was squatting down, back to her, as he dug a really big, deep hole. Was he trying to get to the other side of the world or what? Rika almost yelled at him. What kind of one inch caterpillar needed a hole big enough for a cat to be buried in?

Rika walked over to her then turned the pickle jar over on Ryo's head.

"YEOW!" Ryo jumped up as the freezing cold water ran down his back. "EW, RIKA!"

"Now who's a stinky head?" Rika snarked.

"That's not nice," Ryo whined, then perked up. "But now I can use your showers."

"WHAT?"

"Hey, I can't help you find caterpillars if they are repelled by this pickle thing."

"It's not like they're attracted to you already… who says you're going to help me?"

"Well…I did murder your homework so I should help you."

"Ah, so you do admit that you are a killer."

"Very funny, Rika." Ryo sauntered off. "Don't worry, I won't think too much about being in your bathroom."

"Akiyama!"

"What now?" Ryo looked around. "I said I wasn't going to think weird."

Rika pointed in the opposite direction. "Our bathroom right there, just around the corner."

Ryo blushed as he walked the other way. Rika snorted and walked back to the kitchen to rinse out the jar. Once it no longer stank of vinegar, she went back to the garden. The still caterpillar was still unburied so she jabbed a hole and pushed it in then covered it. She then scooped up some dirt and threw it in the jar, patting it down. Then as Rika walked back to her room, she noticed the big hole…

Rika ran into her room and grabbed Ryo's backpack. She chucked it into the hole and covered the hole up. When Ryo came out of the bathroom, hair dripping water, Rika was sitting at her desk, reading innocently.

"What are you up to?" Ryo asked suspiciously, noting she was reading a textbook.

"What? Can't I study for a test without being asked why?" Rika shot back, closing the book. She didn't look at him as he was wearing nothing but a towel.

"Hmm. I never thought of you as the nerd." Ryo looked around. "Hey, where's my backpack?"

"How should I know?" Rika scowled. "If you can't even keep track of your own damn backpack, how in the world are you going to find caterpillars?"

Ryo grunted to himself as he walked around her room then went outside. It took him a full hour to find his backpack and only because Rika stared at the spot.

"Rika," Ryo groaned, pulling his backpack out of the dirt. He unzipped it and rummaged through it. "Whew, my clothes are safe."

"…Your clothes?"

"Yup." Ryo nodded. "I go around with a change of clothes so if Cyberdramon ever slashes the one I'm wearing into shreds, then I have an extra." He walked off to change.

Rika grumbled to herself as she went to the front of her house, ready to go. A few minutes later, Ryo wandered out too.

They walked in awkward silence to the park. Rika headed over to Guilmon's hideout first since Guilmon said that he saw some caterpillars.

The digimon wasn't there. Probably with Takato. Rika began searching in the trees.

"YAHOO!" Ryo jumped up and began climbing up a tree.

"Get down here monkey brains!" Rika yelled. "If you break an arm, I'd have to lug your fat body to the hospital!"

"Chillax!" Ryo hung upside down. "Hey, look it! I found a caterpillar!" He scooped it up in his hands and shimmered down.

"That's a centipede," Rika informed. "Their bites are really poisonous."

"Now you tell me!" Ryo flung it into the bushes.

"Another arthropod, murdered by the bug killer," Rika muttered.

"You two fight too much."

Rika and Ryo spun around. Impmon was standing on the branch Ryo had been swinging on. Renamon was sitting on one a few feet up.

"Because he's the scatter brain," Rika groaned. "I don't see why he has to stalk me all the time."

"I don't stalk you. Follow you, maybe, but never stalk!" Ryo scooted closer.

Impmon snorted. "You two may be worse than Ai and Mako. I should know. And all they did was rip a teddy bear. You two actually killed a real, living creature."

"So you've been stalking me as well," Rika snorted.

Impmon was about to glare at her then just smirked. "So what are you two doing?"

"Trying to find a caterpillar to replace the one Ryo murdered." Rika threw a pinecone at Ryo. "Wanna help? I have a feeling that one of you is more useful than two of Ryo."

Ryo rolled his eyes.

A few minutes into their searching…

"RREEEE-"

"Yes?" Both Ryo and Rika looked up at the newcomers. Terriermon and Henry.

"Um…" Henry skidded to a stop.

(So anyone else notice that the first syllable in Rika's and Ryo's name is the same? Ri-ka and Ry-o?)

"Hey!" Rika snapped at Ryo.

"Oh! Lol! Our names start out the same!" Ryo laughed.

"Don't say stuff like that!" Rika socked him.

"Momentai!" Terriermon waved. "So? The last syllable in my name is the same as every other digimon's but I'm not complaining."

"Shut up, Terriermon," Henry groaned. "What are you…four doing?"

"Looking for caterpillars since Ryo killed Rika's homework." Renamon jumped down from her perch in the trees.

"Did not! Why must everyone say it was me!" Ryo sat down in defeat.

"Because it was you!" Rika was tempted to fling the pickle jar at his head but it was the only jar she had.

Ryo's only response was crossing his arms and sulking. For about two seconds because a butterfly fluttered by and he ran after it. Gee, when the world's not in danger, he was such a little kid.

"Here." Henry, the oh so thoughtful and noticing boy, plucked a bug off the tree. "Is this the same kind?"

Rika examined it. "No, it's the copy cat. This one turns into a moth. The one I'm suppose to have has two dots over its head." (Okay, I'm not even sure what I'm babbling about here. I don't like bugs and I am not going to research some bug and look at its creepy face up close just to write a good description!)

"This one?" Impmon held up another one.

"It's suppose to be brown, not green," Ryo said. "But it oozes green blood!" He jumped up and down excitedly. (Geez, even Terriermon was more helpful than him! No offense, Terriermon.)

"You should know," Renamon muttered, tearing off a huge slab of bark. She looked at all the bugs that were hiding. "Rika! Is any one of these it?"

Rika wandered over and looked. "Hmm…ah ha!" She let one crawl onto her hand. "This one's the same type…and the same size as the other one before Ryo killed it." She let it slid into her jar.

"OH! Let me see!" Ryo bounced up and down, trying to grab the jar. "I'll be real careful! I won't drop it this time!" His hand bumped into the jar, knocking it out of Rika's hands. Luckily, Renamon caught it.

"RYO!" Everyone yelled but at Ryo's innocent, one track expression, all of them just bursted out laughing. Even Rika chuckled a bit.

"You won't drop it, huh," Rika snorted.

"Well, you were the one who didn't have a good hold on it this time," Ryo pointed out.

Still chuckling, Rika touched Renamon's arm. "Let's get out of here. If Akiyama murders my homework again, I'll murder him."

Ryo laughed at that. "Hope you get an A, WildCat!"

"Hope you get a brain," was the redhead's reply.

…

So, that's it! I know, really random but I'm feeling random right now since I can't eat anything solid due to the fact my jaws can't close 100%. It's hanging open by a centimeter and hurts whenever I try to clench my teeth. So I can't chew anything but I need my chips and candy and cookies to write a good story!


End file.
